I have 3 teenagers and one tween and from my earlier posts you know that I always have a house full of kids, so as you can imagine, there is a lot of drama. (that is totally a run on sentence, but I don't care). When I was younger, I had a boyfriend who would "make" me (I put "make" in quotes because I was too young and stupid to do otherwise) tie a sweatshirt around my waist so that no one could look at my butt. Now not to brag, but I had a really great butt when I was younger. If I had that butt now, I would parade it around town for all to see! Anyway, I am not bad mouthing this boy; he did this because of his own insecurities and immaturity. A lot of the drama that I witness today is caused from the same insecurities and immaturity that most teenagers experience, but it is upsetting when I see beautiful, young girls let themselves be treated like they are property and are "owned" by their boyfriends.
I have stated, nagged, forcefully stated, forcefully nagged, and maybe harped a little to all of my boys that girls are to be treated with respect. (and the boys should be treated the same by the girls) Girls and boys need to have friends. They need to have their own identity. They need to hang out with other people and enjoy their teenage years! We grownups know that real life is not always fun and worry free. Teenagers need to have fun now before they are worrying about bills, children, and careers. I must say that I am extremely proud of my three teenage boys. They are really good about balancing friend time (or should I say bro time) and girlfriend time and do not throw huge fits when their significant others hang out with their friends. Jealousy is such a negative emotion and will only cause problems. So listen up teenage boys and girls...IF YOUR BOY/GIRL FRIEND IS GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU, THERE ISN'T A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! YOU CANNOT WATCH THEM EVERY SINGLE SECOND. IF THERE IS NO TRUST, THEN THERE IS NO REASON TO STAY TOGETHER!! Now I understand that teenagers are fickle and change their minds constantly, but you need to decide if you are going to constantly worry and stress that he/she might cheat on you or if you are going to enjoy your teenage years. Its your decision.
Choosing what clothing your girlfriend can wear is not going to prevent other guys from noticing her! A pretty girl is going to get noticed by others if she is wearing a snuggie! Let other guys notice! Then you can walk down the street holding her hand thinking to yourself, "yup, I know she's beautiful, but you know what? she chose me!" Tying the stupid sweatshirt around my waist did not prevent other guys from trying to pick up on me.
My last rant of this session is a very personal one to me. Never, ever, ever let a boy or girl come between a friendship. Being young and stupid, I came between a friendship. To this day I feel bad about it. These boys were friends for a very long time. I feel bad about it because I know how it feels. I had a best friend in high school. We did everything together. We had plans to attend college together, take that graduation trip to Rio (it may never have happened anyway, but it was fun to dream). Anyway, I always knew that I could count on her through anything. Our friendship was destroyed because of a boy, a boy that isn't even part of my life anymore! It was almost 25 years ago and I still miss her today. We have reconnected on facebook, but it will never be the same.
Now that I am an old lady, I have grown up and have become much wiser. If I had only known then, what I know now...but that's all a part of growing up!
So to my dear niece and her bestie...learn from my dumb mistakes (and lots of others before and after me) Do not throw your friendship away over this...you may be hurt and hurtful things may have been said, but you can get through this...you have an amazing friendship and it is definitely one worth saving, so work you asses off to save it!
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