These past few weeks have been exceptionally hard for me as I have sat and watched my son go through some pretty tough things emotionally. As a mom, it is my job, my responsibility, my duty, and I believe my God given right to protect my kids from any kind of harm. With that being said, I have stayed out of certain circumstances and kept my mouth shut when every fiber of my being is telling me it is time to step in and defend my child (although I must say, he did just fine defending himself and I am extremely proud of that).
Now, I need to explain a few things. I have kept my mouth shut not because I am afraid or timid. I have remained silent because I do not want to make the situation worse for those involved. This silence has led to extreme anger that has been building over time. I know that if I do not vent, this anger is going to build up and explode like some super volcano destroying everything in its path, which is why I thought I would write about it; hoping that this will help. So far, not so good. Just getting angrier as I type.
I am sure the day will come when I have the chance to say what I feel. Until then, I am here for my son; listening when he needs to talk, giving advice when asked, hoping that his confidence and self esteem has not been broken by some condescending, closed minded, snobbish, middle aged person. I hope he still knows that he is beautiful inside and out, that no matter what I love him and am here for him and.........this too shall pass because as my mom used to say...that which does not kill you makes you stronger...or as my dad would have said when Matthew was told he's not good enough....OH BALLS!
